amazing

(no, not Grace)

There was this speech, by Karl Paulnac, for parents of new students at the Boston Conservatory. It’s a bit long, but really worth reading all of it.

“One of my parents’ deepest fears, I suspect, is that society would not properly value me as a musician, that I wouldn’t be appreciated. I had very good grades in high school, I was good in science and math, and they imagined that as a doctor or a research chemist or an engineer I might be more appreciated than I would be as a musician. I still remember my mother’s remark when I announced my decision to apply to music school she said, “you’re WASTING your SAT scores.” On some level, I think, my parents were not sure themselves what the value of music was, what its purpose was. And they LOVED music, they listened to classical music all the time. They just weren’t really clear about its function. So let me talk about that a little bit, because we live in a society that puts music in the “arts and entertainment” section of the newspaper, and serious music, the kind your kids are about to engage in, has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with entertainment, in fact it’s the opposite of entertainment. Let me talk a little bit about music, and how it works.

The first people to understand how music really works were the ancient Greeks. And this is going to fascinate you; the Greeks said that music and astronomy were two sides of the same coin. Astronomy was seen as the study of relationships between observable, permanent, external objects, and music was seen as the study of relationships between invisible, internal, hidden objects. Music has a way of finding the big, invisible moving pieces inside our hearts and souls and helping us figure out the position of things inside us. Let me give you some examples of how this works. One of the most profound musical compositions of all time is the Quartet for the End of Time written by French composer Olivier Messiaen in 1940.

Messiaen was 31 years old when France entered the war against Nazi Germany. He was captured by the Germans in June of 1940, sent across Germany in a cattle car and imprisoned in a concentration camp. He was fortunate to find a sympathetic prison guard who gave him paper and a place to compose. There were three other musicians in the camp, a cellist, a violinist, and a clarinetist, and Messiaen wrote his quartet with these specific players in mind. It was performed in January 1941 for four thousand prisoners and guards in the prison camp. Today it is one of the most famous masterworks in the repertoire.

Given what we have since learned about life in the concentration camps, why would anyone in his right mind waste time and energy writing or playing music? There was barely enough energy on a good day to find food and water, to avoid a beating, to stay warm, to escape torture why would anyone bother with music? And yet from the camps, we have poetry, we have music, we have visual art; it wasn’t just this one fanatic Messiaen; many, many people created art. Why? Well, in a place where people are only focused on survival, on the bare necessities, the obvious conclusion is that art must be, somehow, essential for life. The camps were without money, without hope, without commerce, without recreation, without basic respect, but they were not without art. Art is part of survival; art is part of the human spirit, an unquenchable expression of who we are. Art is one of the ways in which we say, “I am alive, and my life has meaning. ”

On September 12, 2001 I was a resident of Manhattan. That morning I reached a new understanding of my art and its relationship to the world. I sat down at the piano that morning at 10 AM to practice as was my daily routine; I did it by force of habit, without thinking about it. I lifted the cover on the keyboard, and opened my music, and put my hands on the keys and took my hands off the keys. And I sat there and thought, does this even matter? Isn’t this completely irrelevant? Playing the piano right now, given what happened in this city yesterday, seems silly, absurd, irreverent, pointless.

Why am I here? What place has a musician in this moment in time? Who needs a piano player right now? I was completely lost.

And then I, along with the rest of New York, went through the journey of getting through that week. I did not play the piano that day, and in fact I contemplated briefly whether I would ever want to play the piano again. And then I observed how we got through the day. At least in my neighborhood, we didn’t shoot hoops or play Scrabble. We didn’t play cards to pass the time, we didn’t watch TV, we didn’t shop, we most certainly did not go to the mall. The first organized activity that I saw in New York, that same day, was singing. People sang. People sang around fire houses, people sang We Shall Overcome. Lots of people sang America the Beautiful. The first organized public event that I remember was the Brahms Requiem, later that week, at Lincoln Center, with the New York Philharmonic. The first organized public expression of grief, our first communal response to that historic event, was a concert. That was the beginning of a sense that life might go on. The US Military secured the airspace, but recovery was led by the arts, and by music in particular, that very night.

From these two experiences, I have come to understand that music is not part of “arts and entertainment” as the newspaper section would have us believe. It’s not a luxury, a lavish thing that we fund from leftovers of our budgets, not a plaything or an amusement or a pass time. Music is a basic need of human survival. Music is one of the ways we make sense of our lives, one of the ways in which we express feelings when we have no words, a way for us to understand things with our hearts when we can’t with our minds.

Some of you may know Samuel Barber’s heart wrenchingly beautiful piece Adagio for Strings. If you don’t know it by that name, then some of you may know it as the background music which accompanied the Oliver Stone movie Platoon, a film about the Vietnam War. If you know that piece of music either way, you know it has the ability to crack your heart open like a walnut; it can make you cry over sadness you didn’t know you had. Music can slip beneath our conscious reality to get at what’s really going on inside us the way a good therapist does. I bet that you have never been to a wedding where there was absolutely no music. There might have been only a little music, there might have been some really bad music, but I bet you there was some music. And something very predictable happens at weddings people get all pent up with all kinds of emotions, and then there’s some musical moment where the action of the wedding stops and someone sings or plays the flute or something. And even if the music is lame, even if the quality isn’t good, predictably 30 or 40 percent of the people who are going to cry at a wedding cry a couple of moments after the music starts.

Why? The Greeks. Music allows us to move around those big invisible pieces of ourselves and rearrange our insides so that we can express what we feel even when we can’t talk about it. Can you imagine watching Indiana Jones or Superman or Star Wars with the dialogue but no music? What is it about the music swelling up at just the right moment in ET so that all the softies in the audience start crying at exactly the same moment? I guarantee you if you showed the movie with the music stripped out, it wouldn’t happen that way. The Greeks: Music is the understanding of the relationship between invisible internal objects. I’ll give you one more example, the story of the most important concert of my life. I must tell you I have played a little less than a thousand concerts in my life so far. I have played in places that I thought were important. I like playing in Carnegie Hall; I enjoyed playing in Paris; it made me very happy to please the critics in St. Petersburg. I have played for people I thought were important; music critics of major newspapers, foreign heads of state. The most important concert of my entire life took place in a nursing home in Fargo, ND, about 4 years ago.

I was playing with a very dear friend of mine who is a violinist. We began, as we often do, with Aaron Copland’s Sonata, which was written during World War II and dedicated to a young friend of Copland’s, a young pilot who was shot down during the war. Now we often talk to our audiences about the pieces we are going to play rather than providing them with written program notes. But in this case, because we began the concert with this piece, we decided to talk about the piece later in the program and to just come out and play the music without explanation.

Midway through the piece, an elderly man seated in a wheelchair near the front of the concert hall began to weep. This man, whom I later met, was clearly a soldier even in his 70¹s, it was clear from his buzz-cut hair, square jaw and general demeanor that he had spent a good deal of his life in the military. I thought it a little bit odd that someone would be moved to tears by that particular movement of that particular piece, but it wasn’t the first time I’ve heard crying in a concert and we went on with the concert and finished the piece.

When we came out to play the next piece on the program, we decided to talk about both the first and second pieces, and we described the circumstances in which the Copland was written and mentioned its dedication to a downed pilot. The man in the front of the audience became so disturbed that he had to leave the auditorium. I honestly figured that we would not see him again, but he did come backstage afterwards, tears and all, to explain himself.

What he told us was this: “During World War II, I was a pilot, and I was in an aerial combat situation where one of my team’s planes was hit. I watched my friend bail out, and watched his parachute open, but the Japanese planes which had engaged us returned and machine gunned across the parachute chords so as to separate the parachute from the pilot, and I watched my friend drop away into the ocean, realizing that he was lost. I have not thought about this for many years, but during that first piece of music you played, this memory returned to me so vividly that it was as though I was reliving it. I didn’t understand why this was happening, why now, but then when you came out to explain that this piece of music was written to commemorate a lost pilot, it was a little more than I could handle.”

How does the music do that? How did it find those feelings and those memories in me? Remember the Greeks: music is the study of invisible relationships between internal objects. This concert in Fargo was the most important work I have ever done. For me to play for this old soldier and help him connect, somehow, with Aaron Copland, and to connect their memories of their lost friends, to help him remember and mourn his friend, this is my work. This is why music matters.

What follows is part of the talk I will give to this year’s freshman class when I welcome them a few days from now. The responsibility I will charge your sons and daughters with is this:

If we were a medical school, and you were here as a med student practicing appendectomies, you’d take your work very seriously because you would imagine that some night at two AM someone is going to waltz into your emergency room and you’re going to have to save their life. Well, my friends, someday at 8 PM someone is going to walk into your concert hall and bring you a mind that is confused, a heart that is overwhelmed, a soul that is weary. Whether they go out whole again will depend partly on how well you do your craft. You’re not here to become an entertainer, and you don’t have to sell yourself. The truth is you don’t have anything to sell; being a musician isn’t about dispensing a product, like selling used Chevys. I’m not an entertainer; I’m a lot closer to a paramedic, a firefighter, a rescue worker. You’re here to become a sort of therapist for the human soul, a spiritual version of a chiropractor or physical therapist, someone who works with our insides to see if they get things to line up, to see if we can come into harmony with ourselves and be healthy and happy and well.

Frankly, ladies and gentlemen, I expect you not only to master music; I expect you to save the planet. If there is a future wave of wellness on this planet, of harmony, of peace, of an end to war, of mutual understanding, of equality, of fairness, I don’t expect it will come from a government, military force or a corporation. I no longer even expect it to come from the religions of the world, which together seem to have brought us as much war as they have peace. If there is a future of peace for humankind, if there is to be an understanding of how these invisible, internal things should it together, I expect it will come from the artists, because that’s what we do. As in the concentration camp and the evening of 9/11, the artists are the ones who might be able to help us with our internal, invisible lives.”

I tend

to wax eloquent about my kids’ music making (what parent doesn’t do this about whatever their children are doing?) but the other day my own mother found an old tape with some of our music, she used to be my choir conductor. I and two cousins of mine sang together quite a lot and once had a few songs recorded for a radio programme on the Icelandic State Broadcasting Radio. Just uploaded the songs onto my server, and here’s one. Fairly proud of this, actually:

yeah, and has anyone

noticed my new blog header?

This is a photo I took from our family summer house (well, husbands’ family, his grandparents used to live there until about 20 years ago). Love the place but it’s a bit far away, we don’t go there every summer. This summer we will, though. It’s all the way up in the West Fjords, Dýrafjörður to be exact.

It’s not far from Þingeyri on this map, just over the fjord.


(map from here)

(the house is actually rented out in parts of the summer, if anyone’s interested ;)

we have

a new government, a socialdemocratic one, fiiiiinallyyyy!

I’m more hopeful for our future than I have been in years. Yes, that’s right, years.

youngest son

my not so little Finnur had his birthday yesterday, 9 year old.  13 boys climbed over the furniture, ran in and out of the house, climbed on the rooftops around (yep – I had to tell them to stay mostly on the ground), ate tons of pizza and rice-crispies cookies and had loads of fun.

 
House’s in shambles – but worth it.  He’s really happy.

Election Day

Voted already, we’re pretty sure it will be a leftist landslide. Yay.

found this

brilliant webcomic, browsing yesterday, Gill, read all of it through and will be following, it’s really worth it! I wish Gocomics.com featured it… (I’ve got an account there with some favourites).

confirmed

heard from the IMIC today (not that I’m not in touch with them every day, sometimes often, at the moment). But the director called me this morning with the news that a Norwegian choral director emailed an order for my biggest piece hitherto, wants to perform. I might just want to go to Norway, for the performance, it will be in May 2010.

Pretty good news…

pad thai

made this lovely pad thai for dinner last night. Well worth reading through the whole thing. Didn’t manage to find any pickled turnips, though…

fire

As I’ve said here before, I’m currently chairman of the board in the Iceland Music Information Centre, where Icelandic music is collected and kept so performers and musicologists can have access to it.

Well, we had a fire, yesterday.

Not IN the Centre, but two floors up, but there’s water on the floors and of course smoke everywhere. Just managed to save the brand new security update of the scanned pieces (the update was ongoing when the fire came up – and finished while the fire squad turned out the fire).

Things look a bit better than we were afraid of. There’s a lot of music in there, that would be really hard to find again.

No, we don’t have a fireproof vault. The center is dreadfully underfunded. It wasn’t a question of if, but when, something like this would happen.

Here’s a news article about this.

Ash Wednesday

Here the kids dress up and go downtown (or to the malls), sing a song in the shops and get candy. Our version of Halloween. The younger daughter slept over at a friends house, so I don’t have a photo of her, yet at least, but here’s the son, normally blond, not today. Not going to say guess who he’s supposed to be…

Finnur Potter

cream puff day

thanks Alda for the name, it’s pretty good.

In Iceland we have those 3 days, 7 weeks before Easter, Bolludagur (Cream Puff Day – or rather Ball or Bun day, as it’s traditional to eat all sorts of buns and balls, meatballs, cream buns, pfannkuchen, you name it), then there’s Sprengidagur (exploding day), last day before Lent, then you’re supposed to eat until you burst. The traditional food is very salty lamb plus yellow split pea soup. Can’t stand the stuff. Then Öskudagur, a mini Carneval thing, where kids dress up (the eight-year-old’s going to be Harry Potter, my mother made him an orange/red striped scarf)

But my favourite of those days is definitely Bolludagur, the cream puff thing. Love the thin pastry puffs, coated with chocolate and filled with various sorts of cream and/or pudding or jelly. Husband made these puffs yesterday (I’m hopeless at those, but he’s really good at it).

Hmm, must really take a photo of them filled…

facebook memes

Facebook is of course way behind the blog life, memes like this abounded on the blog 5-6 years ago. I was tagged on da facebookie and decided to reuse here. No tagging here, though…

1: My name means double battle, so don’t start messing with me.

2: I am dreadfully lazy, but not many people know this, since I work very fast. Weren’t I lazy, I’d probably have an output worthy of Haydn or Vivaldi. (in volume, that is).

3: I try to control my inner besserwisser but don’t always succeed well enough.

4: I’m very interested in science but hate history.

5: I’m extremely proud of my children,

6: I neither drink coffee or milk, as a matter of fact it’s fairly hard to get me and my husband on a visit since he doesn’t drink tea and I don’t drink coffee.

7: I can’t stand chain letters, always break them (no, this doesn’t count as a chain letter)

8: I’m not religious but still write loads of religious music.

9: I suffer from an internet addiction – Facebook’s the least. But see #2, this doesn’t do much harm.

10: I like most food, except for warm smoked fish.

11: Once went to a huge Rolling Stones concert, got a great seat, really close to the scene but was fairly bored anyway. (sorry, Ragnheiður ;) )

12: My favourite comic strips are Bound and Gagged, Zits and Stone Soup.

13: Favourite colour by far is purple.

14: I have 5 blog pages, but only write on two of them, the rest is only to be able to comment on other blogs without too much hassle.

15: I follow about 150 blogs, fortunately not all of them are very active…

16: One of the things I like the most is having people over for dinner. My blog and irc friends have to suffer my invitations :D

17: I got a CD with my biggest composition yet published before Christmas (yay!)

18: I make music a lot, sing and play, but when I’m home alone I like to have silence around me.

19: Pretty far to the left in politics and have been active in the protests.

20: I distrust various health cure-alls and tend not to take any food supplements – not even Lýsi.

21: I prefer the bathtub over the shower.

22: I can’t eat very much sweet at one time – 1 piece of cake is enough. Good bread, on the other hand…

23: I have incredibly beautiful view out the window in one of my teaching jobs (lhí students, guess where)

24: I don’t like most sports, neither watching nor doing, but bicycling is fun.

25: I think 25 things is about 5-6 too many.

long time

no blogging.

Yes, I’m fine. Been busy with normal life and trying to get the last Central Bank director to resign. A couple of days ago a group of us met up and sang funeral hymns to try to lay to rest the bank government. One out of three – the most hated one still sits there like he owns the bank.

Yes, we’ve got a new government, a social-democratic one. I’m moderately hopeful, they’ll sit there for 82 days iirc and then we’ll have a vote. Sort of scared that the old capitalist party, which is mainly responsible for the economic crash, will get too many votes. They really shouldn’t get the chance to govern for the longest time now, been the big government party for the last 17 years. Horrible.

We’ll see…

Meanwhile life goes basically on as usual for most people here, at the moment I’m sitting in the kids’ music school waiting for orchestra rehearsal to finish, later on in the day we’re having fellow protesters for dinner. We were sort of afraid that now people would save money by taking the kids out of the music schools, but apparently the waiting list only grows longer than usual. Makes me happy, not only since I’ll keep my job, but also I think it shows that people know where the real values lie, and are trying to not let their children suffer in spite of the problems.

Yesssss!

Government’s down. Dead and gone.

Now let’s hope for something a bit better. At least it can’t get any worse, that’s for sure. And the people responsible for the crash aren’t sitting in the catbird seat anymore. Well, the Central Bank dude, but I’m certain that won’t be for long.

Congratulations are in order :D

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